We have a lot of birds in the yard nesting this year.  The families of Killdeers, Robins, Brown Thrashers, Orioles, Blue Jays, Morning Doves, warblers, Red winged Black Birds, Cow Birds, Wrens, Rose Breasted Grossbeaks, Gold Finches, sparrows of all kinds and an occasional wood pecker.  Of all of these, the Killdeers have been the most fun to watch and also the most challenging because the one family laid her eggs right in the middle of our driveway!  Crazy bird.  So I had to put markers around the nest of 4 little eggs, (of which all hatched) so we wouldn't run over them.  It had been a cold spring, so we felt sorry for the poor bird sitting on those eggs in the cold, rain and sometimes snow.  But she didn't get flooded! Heres a couple of pictures of the little ones the day they hatched and the area their nest was.  They aren't like other baby birds in the fact as soon as they dry off, they have feathers and look

quite a lot like the adults.  They remind me of little colored cotton balls on toothpicks!  Aren't they cute?

A Little Different Perspective...

You know, as I was sorting through my parents things, (the detritus of their lives that they have entrusted to me to have and to hold, forever, if needed), I started to wonder:  Do I really know who these people are?  I mean, we know our parents as, well, our parents - but did we, do we, really care who they are as people?  They are just Mom and Dad.  They really weren't "people".  Were they?  We were so worried about our lives as kids and how to get what we wanted by going around them or to staying out of the way or out of sight. Playing with our friends, what was going on in school, etc.  Doing what kids do.   We went to church, went on vacations, did chores and whatever, together.  I know I tried to stay out of my Dad's line of sight just in case he didn't like what he saw or had another "job" for me.  Kid stuff, you know? We have or had such a narrow view of who these people were or are in our lives.

It's kind of sad, because these are the two most important people in the world to us and yet, we really don't know them at all.  Nor did we take the time to find out, even as adults.  Maybe it's because as we try to develop our own lives and are busy with kids of our own, or college or relationships, or whatever, we don't realize that our parents had a life before us and also after us.  Or, maybe, it isn't possible for us to know them.  Generation too wide? Hmmm.  So who are/were they?

I had the unique opportunity, as I mentioned, to go through some of their things. They didn't do it when they moved, it just got brought to my house to deal with when Mom moved to a long term care facility because of her PSP, and Dad couldn't deal with it either, so guess who gets to go through it all and decide what needs to be done with it?  Me.  As I mentioned in another post, I am an only child, and so there is no one else.  So, I got to go through pictures of the past to letters they wrote to each other while Dad was in Korea.  Letters from their parents, siblings and friends. It was their form of email.  It seemed so much more important to get a letter in the mail from friends or relatives that it does getting an email, now.  I guess it meant more to take pen to paper and sit down and take the time to write what's been happening or thank you cards or invitations, or whatever, with our own hands.

Mom told me to burn it all.  I really wasn't so sure about that.  I did find a couple of letters, I told her, that were a little on the juicy side that she wrote to Dad.  Apparently, Dad had kept it and she in turn kept it in her desk for all these years after he returned.  She laughed at the memory and said what was juicy then, is nothing now.  I thought about that and she's right.  We don't have that mystery between each other as lovers or partners as they did. Everything is so "now".  There is no waiting, really.  If there is, we can't seem to handle it well.

She wrote to him about me when I was little, and how I was doing, and that Jim says "Hi!" and that she saw "so and so" somewhere.  Then she closed it by saying she missed him and wanted to be in his arms again.  You know the usual lover/spouse stuff.  It's all so universal.  I feel somewhat like a voyeur looking through stuff like that!  I think I might run all those letters through my Neat Scanner just to keep those that seems to mark a place in time that was important or just interesting.  I'm sure I will find many a thing that I didn't know and will wonder about.  At least my Mom is still here and I can ask her.  How fun is that?

It's been a while...

I have been so preoccupied with things that I didn't realize that it had been so long since my last post.  I had told myself, (as I have told others), that writing is a good method to get things off one's chest.  Altho I don't quite consider blogging as journaling, it can serve the same purpose.you just have to be careful what you write!

As I read over old blogs that I have published, there are two that really hit home for me right now.  The Retirement one and the Cleaning the Basement one.  I'm thinking about both really seriously now.  Retirement because I'm a few years older than what I was when I wrote the last one and cleaning the basement, again, because of some other stuff going on.  Also, I guess, the one about the Only Child.  Those three seem to be haunting me today. Being on only child does have its advantage like I mentioned, but it also has it's disadvantages.

I've helped my parents make a few moves in the last couple of years.  This last one has been the most difficult.  My Mom who has been progressively declining with PSP, (www.psp.org/) had to be moved to a long term care facility because  she can no longer care for herself.  Her disease is a nasty one and it is in the progressive brain disorders of Parkinson's and Alzheimer's.  Only hers acts a little like ALS.  She is very dizzy, can't swallow well without thickeners, can't speak very loud or well, and can't see well.  She also can't write.  Her writing has always been a bit difficult to read, but now, she can't do fine motor skills, so she eats with her fingers.  The light really bothers her so she sits in the dark with all the shades drawn.  This is so hard to watch.  She is fine as far as her thinking is concerned, but she has no good way to communicate.  She can't walk, can't go to the bathroom or do much of anything for herself.  This has got to be horrible for her to live that way but she seems to be able to stay in good spirits.  My Dad isn't the most empathic, I guess never has been, so he isn't much help.  Just complains about stuff.  Like how much things cost.  Good grief!

It was hard to take her there.  We did find a nice facility and her room is actually new, so she is the first person to live in her room.  But its so hard to watch her.  I go down to visit and take care of things, and she has changed each time I see her.  Not for the better, but she looses the capability to do things, each and every time I see her.  I'm sure if I were there everyday I wouldn't see it, but once a week, I do.

We moved her on the 27th of January.  Dad said he wasn't going to move.  That he was going to stay where they were.  Well, that didn't last very long.  I think living apart and not eating or sleeping together got to him.  He decided to apply for an apartment in the same facility which I was grateful for as I really worry about him driving.  He moved in on the 7th of February.  We just got him in with the stuff he needed and left the rest at the old place.  We had until the end of the month to get the other stuff out.

We did have help.  We had Linda, from "Change is Good".  She was a godsend.  She arranged for the movers, packed and organized things to get donated, sold or thrown.  She didn't have to do as much as the move from the lake to here, but I'm not sure what I would have done without her.  That's what her business does, it helps people down-size and takes care of the logistics of getting rid of stuff.  It was great because I didn't have to take too much time off to assist. It was difficult for me to decide what to take and what to leave.  Dad wasn't much help, so I made the decision to just have everything left brought to our place, with the exception of a few pieces of furniture. So, that's where the "Cleaning the Basement", comes in.  I have a basement full of their stuff.  Since Dad didn't help at all, I'm going through their stuff , organizing it, and bringing back stuff for him to take a look at.  Some is recent, some not so much.  They are of that generation where they kept everything so some stuff gets put in the burn pile, or get filed or otherwise stacked in a corner.

Last Friday, I brought more clothes for Mom to go through.  She doesn't have much room, but she is rather fussy about her appearance and does want to look good.  She has favorite things, pictures and figurines that I have brought her to make her room her own.  I think I wore her out  going through her clothing.  The rest, I guess I will donate or sell on consignment, or rummage sales.  It's hard. I guess I'm lucky because I still have my mom.  So many of my friends and co-workers have lost theirs.  Two in the last two weeks.

Spring Break

It's a sunny, cold day today and I've been reading friends' Facebook pages and saw one about Arizona.  We used to go every year to see my folks, but they have sold their place there and their lake place in Brainerd.  They now live in Fargo, of all places.  I guess to be closer to me.  It's kind of weird not to be going to Arizona.  It's a nice place to visit, yet, I don't think I would like to live there. It's too brown. Or, tan.  Not much green.  No change of seasons, at least in Tucson where my folks were.  I do miss the artists at Tubac and the fun we had going there.  Mom is sick and has PSP or Progressive Supranuclear Palsy.  It's not nice and not many have heard of it, including her doctors. They thought she had Parkinson's but she didn't respond to the meds for that.  She even went to Mayo and they weren't sure at that time what it was.   It took a doc from Fargo to recognize her symptoms.  she probably is just bad enough now for docs to figure it out.  I guess it doesn't matter, because there is no cure at the moment.  It is progressive, so she will probably die of it or of a complication.  It difficult to watch her slide away.  She can't see very well, and can't walk without help because she looses her balance and has fallen a few times because she is so dizzy.  One time, just last week, she went over backwards and cut her head and had to have stitches.  She's weak and can't do much.  He eyes bother her alot.  She has to have drops put in them and Dad doesn't like to do it much.  She has to use thickener in her liquids because she can't swallow without swallowing down the "wrong pipe".  Her throat muscles are effected and she can't speak very loud either.  I think the hardest thing for her is not being able to read.  She just got glasses with prisms and she doesn't  like them.  I told her they might take some getting used to.  I am thinking of getting her an iPad, or iPad Mini,  iPod or a Kindle Fire so she could get books on tape or at least listen to the radio, or make the print larger, or both.  She has a Nook somewhere, but its an old one that probably doesn't read text out loud.  We haven't found it,yet, anyway, since the move.

I guess I haven't written much and maybe will write more about this, if for not other reason, than to help someone else if they have it or know someone who does.  There is website about it if you would like to know more about it at http://www.psp.org/ .  Enough for now.

Joys of Country Living

It's usually quite peaceful out here in the country until you are abruptly reminded that there are idiots in the world when you hear an automatic weapon going off very close to the house at 10:30 at night. We were all snuggled in our bed watching Robin Hood on HBO when we heard 5 shots very close together and quite close to the house. WTH? We both looked at each other and said "That was close." and got out of bed to look out the window making sure there wasn't any light behind us that they could see. We could see a pickup and a couple of people walking around on for something. We weren't sure what, but they got in their pickup and proceeded down the county road, a few more shots were fired a little further down from us. They then came back and drove in our driveway half ways up into the yard. It's like, "What the Hell do they think they are doing?" Are they drunk? I thought Jack was about to get the shotgun and go see when they backed up and went back to where they started. He said later that if they hadn't backed up, he would have. Usually, when folks stop in our driveway they only come in far enough to turn around, but these yea-hoos came half way up and that was a little too invasive for me and Jack. It was pretty crazy to have someone firing an automatic so close to one's house, let alone at night!

In the morning we went to look to see if we could figure out what the ___ they were doing last night. On the north side of our road we found a blood trail of some poor creature that got killed and they must have been looking for it when they were out of their truck. There was a pretty distinct blood trail but not much for tracks of the animal, so we were thinking it was probably a rabbit or fox that they killed. Probably a rabbit because we have had a pair of Jack Rabbits in our yard all winter that Rusty is always looking for and we only saw one this morning. The one rabbit we saw was going all over the yard following the trails that the both of them had made. I was almost wondering if it was looking for its buddy.

I did find a brass casing which Jack said was from an automatic rifle. A .223 to be exact. Could have a 30 round clip but don't know for sure. How sporting is that? You couldn't miss anything with that. I was wondering why the shots were so close together. It also looked like they had reloaded the brass casing. The tracks were of someone wearing those goofy athletic shoes that have the springs in the heel. It left a pretty weird track. And, someone else with just plain boots or shoes.

So it they do that again, they better stay out of our yard. Prbably should have called the Sheriff's office. Next time, I probably will.